Forming a new habit
Habits. We love them. We don’t even realize it, but our lives are a series of small habits. Every. Single. Day. The time you go to bed, when you wake up, what and when we eat, where we eat (hello same restaurants every weekend), and how we go about these activities. Our bodies and minds love habits. They help us cut through the noise, and help us get through our day. They keep us from going into overdrive with having to analyze and think through our small daily decisions and actions. Like, wake up, go to the gym, work, walk the dog. Habits are simple, and straight forward. Habits make our lives easier because they help us go through the everyday motions, for good or bad.
Take smoking, for example. I had this habit in high school, thanks to a nice “out of high school” (i.e. young man) boyfriend who helped me pick up smoking. I smoked my lovely cigarettes in the car on the way to class each morning. I smoked on the way home, and, of course, I smoked when I hung out with my cool new, “older” boyfriend. I didn’t smoke before meeting this guy with whom I felt enamored. I also can’t tell you why I felt like I liked smoking. But I did. That was, until we broke up. The guy broke my heart (not going to lie), and it was probably one of the worst breakups I ever had. I won’t bore you with the gory details, but if you really want to know, I’m happy to share (just be ready to be a bit devastated for the younger me).
Upon breaking up, I was ready to get back to being a high school student that participated in track and field, and got decent grades. I decided that smoking didn’t really fit into my high school persona so I decided to quit. It was tough. Without realizing it I developed a habit over the period of 6 months. I thought it was no big deal until I realized that every morning on the way to school I would get into the car, and roll down the window… to smoke a cigarette. This is when I realized that my habit that I found to be innocuous had become a big part of my routine.
The idea of this habit could be replaced with lots of others: drinking coffee as soon as I get out of bed, having a vegetable every night for dinner, going to the gym before work or having dessert everyday. All of these small actions, over time, can become a habit, a routine, and they become as such whether or not we make a conscious choice of it. Building little habits, and consciously deciding to form them, are where we can see the long term impact. That’s why creating awareness around our choices, and making an effort to change our habits can be so powerful.
Forget about big radical change to obtain the results you want. Big radical change ha been proven unsustainable, and doesn’t bode well for long term success. Twenty-days (or even thirty) to develop a new habit has been proven not to do the trick either. It’s about making purposeful small choices each day that lead to habit building that have the biggest impact in the long run. Not sure where to start? Think of one small action you’d like to take each day. What is it? Is it drinking a glass of water first thing? Eating a vegetable at each meal? Perhaps it’s going sleep a little bit earlier. Whatever it may be, give yourself a chance to mindfully change it, and then give yourself some time to let the habit cement itself in your life. The average time for a habit to take hold is a little more than two months, totally doable!
